Call me a D.I.N.K!
by Kuro on Jul.27, 2010, under General
The other day I was having a conversation with a friend and they said that “DINKS don’t have it nearly as bad as everyone else.” We were talking about the economy and such, but I had no idea what that word meant. Well, I had no idea what that term meant for someone apart from a 5 year old on a playground, but I’ve digressed. For those unfamiliar with the term it stands for “Dual Income No Kids”.
I certainly understand that children are expensive, but I had no idea parents had their own “secret” terminology for their friends without kids. DINKS? Makes me wonder what other grudges parents have against their friends who may have chosen or cannot have kids. Do they grumble that we don’t have to find babysitters, change diapers, or chauffer kids to various venues? I mean, what other names are we called apart from “DINKS”? Which I’ve never heard (in my short time knowing the word) used in a positive manner. Call me a “DINK”, because at the moment I’m not ready for children and having a dual income, doesn’t equate to financial prosperity either. While, I have numerous friends with kids, until recently I’d never felt a “divide” between us, but I may not have been paying close enough attention to the subtle signs or comments. You know what they are – “Uggh, don’t you people ever stay at home? Sure must be nice to go out as much as you do” or “Humph, if I had as much free time as you did, I’d be able to x,y,z”. Ok, perhaps they weren’t so subtle and in hindsight, I guess they’ve been calling me things worse than “DINK” for a long time, but it just didn’t seem as bad. Just for the record, in case the “non-dinks” think that it’s all fun and games on this end, it’s not as though everyone without kids are living like Jay-Z and Beyonce! But I think I’ll use another post to elaborate on that argument.
For all the other “DINKS” in our community let’s not fall prey to the name calling that our counterparts would have us engage. Instead, why don’t we all go out for a drink and good entertainment, I mean what else are we supposed to do with “all our free time”. LoL.
August 28th, 2010 on 10:40 am
You just touched on an issue that i’ve heard come up in marriages (dink or otherwise) in regards to feeling the need to have your “own money”. I’ve spoke to men that have wives that handle the finances where they get an “allowance”, and that i couldn’t handle because of the issue of having my “own money”. I think it’s great that your looking to start your own Biz, while there are challenges, it’s a rewarding feeling to be in control of ones professional and financial future.
August 28th, 2010 on 9:03 am
Real talk– I’d rather not return to the standard 9 to 5, so I’ve started my small business back up again. At the same time I know that this takes time and effort . So it’s almost a race against the clock (to get my hubby out my ear). I need to find a job or get some clients contract immediately that yields the dual income we both miss. I have enjoyed the simple freedoms of being home, BUT at the same time I miss the daily purpose of making my own money and he and I being able to not worry about finances.
August 27th, 2010 on 11:45 pm
In our marriage we face the same economic pressures as everyone else. For us being a DINK is our chosen way of life, and that is the key. Neither of us are harbouring those feelings of wanting kids, and periodically we talk about it to see if our feelings have changed. I known women that have been a housewife without kids, and it hasn’t lasted long, because they either:
1. Get Bored.
2. Husbands react the same way you do.
3. Lack of money becomes an issue.
While, there could be other reasons, those are the ones that i’ve seen personally.
Some of the issues that i think DINKS face are their desire to have kids, but a belief that they need to reach a certain income level and never feeling they’re going to be able to do it. Other issues i’ve seen DINKs face is a negative attitude towards their decision of not having kids and a belief that DINK priorities aren’t as worthy or noble as those individuals with kids. Got to have a thick skin to be a DINK
So tell me Lady-O do you want to go back to work? Or would you rather pursue some other goal?
August 27th, 2010 on 5:19 pm
Oh how timely! Although the term is new to me, the definition and comments (from married with children)are not lost me. We were DINKs up until last year. Then I was laid off work…single income household and I am a housewife with no chillins’. Can that fly? Not for long! Now my husband says you need to get a job. I plan on going back to work, but everytime he asks, I cringe. So I am interested in your know about your marriage minus kids because you are right, it is sooo not fun and games.