Dear First Love..
by Kuro on Jan.06, 2010, under General
Today, I started thinking about my first love and what I learned. Upon reflection it’s amazing just how much of an impact that woman had upon me. My attitude, thoughts and outlook on life were all influenced by those romantic summer days and long arguments into the night. So, I thought, what exactly did I learn from my first love in regards to myself and what I was willing and unwilling to accept in a relationship… And if I could write her a letter right now, what would I say…Would it be a “Thank You” or something crude. What would you write if you saw a pen and paper that had “Dear First Love…”?
Dear First Love,
It’s was hard for a few years after our breakup to sustain a relationship. I found myself causing others to emotionally pay for the things that transpired between us. I found myself skeptical of love and relationships and the necessity of it all, but still longed for the feelings and moments that we shared and experienced together. I think about all the firsts that we had and all the love that we shared and I wonder if at times, that we shouldn’t be together? But, I always stop and think…
How did it all change, from promises of eternity to threats of departure? When did the urgency to see each other to resolve arguments face to face in the middle of the night, turn into moments of silence as we stared at the phone debating who hung up on the other first? When, despite all our history did we get tired of sustaining our relationship? I can’t answer many of those questions, but I’ve stopped trying.
I am beyond the hurt now. I know what love is because of “us”. I learned that although it didn’t work between us, I can still “love you” without having to be with you. I see that if God had granted my wish nearing the end that we’d never dated, I would not be the man I am today. I can see that I matured with you, and that much of the knowledge I have about relationships and love came from “us”.
Even though we speak less and less, I can say time has burned many of the impurities of our relationship away. One day only the fondest of memories will remain, while the rest fades to obscurity. I know we have changed, and our lives have deviated and perhaps you have a family and kids of your own. However, no matter what comes to pass, I truly hope God has blessed your life and the dreams you’ve pursued.
You will always by my “d****”.
Your turn, if you could write a letter to your first love – what would you say?
