Married Black Men

You know the thing about marriage is that if you’re not careful you can become complacent. It doesn’t happen all at once, but a just a little at a time.  You settle into a “groove” and it’s comfortable so you don’t stop the routine.  But, then one day you look at your wife and you wonder when the last time you told her you loved her.  For the record, I’m talking about that “love” that occurs outside the bedroom, guest room, kitchen, or wherever you’re “doing it” *smile*.

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I want you to know this wasn’t my intent,
too lure you into my den of corruption.
I’ve told you that i’m “but a man”,
but you did’t seem to care.
Bringing you in my secret domicile,
you’ve filled a room once bare.

I want you to know this wasn’t my intent,
to have you fall in love,
to be here with me in this bed.

There was a time where I would have left you alone,
allowed you to grow without disturbing your throne.
But i can’t sleep and lord knows i can’t leave.

You have captivated and engulfed my every thought,
I won’t go – i’m addicted to the thought of your touch.
I’m trying to escape but I just can’t seem to walk.
Trying to stop listening but I need to hear you talk.

Your voice is what soothes the madness within,
gives me strength and confidence others can’t bring.
You deserve so much more than what i can give,
a man that will not hold back – all which is his.

I want you to know this wasn’t my intent,
to take the place of the future “I Do”,
to postpone your meeting with destiny,
called husband and kids – or family of two.

I will leave you, because I am “but a man”,
I will love you, because that is who I am.
I wish i could convince you,
but too much hurt lay in the way.

Just so you know this wasn’t my intent,
to have you face the duality within.

{Kuro – Dicami.com 2010}

Today, I started thinking about my first love and what I learned. Upon reflection it’s amazing just how much of an impact that woman had upon me. My attitude, thoughts and outlook on life were all influenced by those romantic summer days and long arguments into the night. So, I thought, what exactly did I learn from my first love in regards to myself and what I was willing and unwilling to accept in a relationship… And if I could write her a letter right now, what would I say…Would it be a “Thank You” or something crude. What would you write if you saw a pen and paper that had “Dear First Love…”? (continue reading…)