Married Black Men

Here’s the thing, i’m not a naive individual. I’m aware that there are many things in this world that are offensive, surprising, and unexplainable. However, that doesn’t prevent me from being shocked every now and again by things I just didn’t think happened – or would happen to me. Such as being approached by a white man to have sex with his wife. Yes, yes, i’m aware of the “swinging” movement and all of that, but what i wasnt prepared for was being approached because they “want to see their wife with a black man”.

Now should i be surprised? No, not with, all the things going on in our society, perhaps this is of frequent occurrence for some. However, i found the request conjuring up 2 feelings nearly instantly.:

1. Racial Hatred
The idea that I would sleep with his wife so that you can be some type of “show monkey” for whatever spectacle he’s trying to watch. Or that i’m willing to jeopardize my marriage, career, and life so that you can be amused by something that will have little to no consequence in your own world.

2. Yeah – I Got It
Umm.. A guy just asked you to do his wife? That’s bound to inflate your ego – just a little bit.

To jump to the end, i said “no”, and moved along. The underlying racial undertones of such an arrangement were just too much for me to overlook. In addition to my religious convictions, that just made it – sinful. I’m not sure if this is something that happens often to other Black Men or Women Married or otherwise, but im curious what was the rational behind your response? Because i doubt i’m the only one that thought “wait – you’re serious?” Before, providing a quick and decisive answer.

A divorce can happen at any point and the notion that you’re “out of the woods” after so many years is just garbage. A marriage must be properly tended too like any other “living” organism, and perhaps that’s where the first breakdown occurs. The moment you think you’re out of the woods you become a little complacent, and the care that you used to take to ensure success wavers. Perhaps, we should act like we are always in the woods and that feeling of “finding your way” is what helps sustain the health of a marriage. I mean, when you’re lost you seek guidance, refer to maps, communicate, and most important “stick together”. So, perhaps we should always be “In the woods”, because that seems to be the only time we act properly.

Valentines Day is beginning to feel a lot like Christmas – and unfortunately that’s not a compliment. Who gets the biggest gift, who’s the most romantic, who “out”-classed who? We could talk about the History of Valentine’s day, but there is no really no purpose in that, because the result is the same – materialism. Before, I get cast as the “jaded” guy (ironic – lol), what I want to know is – can you think of the most romantic thing you’ve ever done that hasn’t required money. I don’t want to hear about flowers unless you grew them with wild seeds you found and nurtured them to maturity and cut them with your own hands and gave them to your wife. I don’t want hear about dinner unless went to the farm yourself and worked alongside the farmer to kill the animal you’re going to serve. You can keep your talks about candles unless you cast the wick in the wax yourself and lit them with a rock and piece of flint. I know that may seem far fetched, but I don’t want to hear about how much you accomplished by making calls and setting appointments. I want to know what the most romantic thing you’ve ever done? Oh, and write it yourselves perhaps without the help of a secretary *smile*.