Married Black Men

May this new year turn all your dreams turn into reality, efforts into great achievements, and prosperity to your relationships and marriages.

Now, i realize that not everyone may have heard of a show called “Bridezillas” or may watch it for that matter. However, a few seasons ago there was a guy on there named “Archie” who was marrying his fiancée named “Marsha”. Now, what made this couple particularly interesting, was that Marsha was an absolute terror, and managed to rob Archie of his pride, self-respect, and overall manhood. The couple was showcased on Dr. Phil and here is a clip of when Marsha made Archie cry:

Of course there is much about Marsha and Archie that i can’t simply fit into a single post, however, should you google “Marsha and Archie Bridezilla” you’ll find a number of angry folks spewing over the two. After watching that episode, i was left with a single question – *if* you were witnessing a situation where your friend was marrying someone you didn’t approve would you say something or forever hold your peace?

The other day I was reminded about the varying value that exists amongst men in relation to marriage. While, I was having a chat with a young man who living in another country to finish his academic studies, it was revealed to me that he had a wife in his native country. While, situations such as those aren’t new, I found it especially interesting because of the amount of “girlfriends” that he currently has. Now, I’m not talking about friends that are female, I’m taking about legitimate women who feel they are in a romantic relationship. Of course, for many that are perhaps reading this his behaviour is considered “cheating”, but for him – it was expected. “I’m in another country and I have needs, what I do here has no bearing on our relationship.” The better question is: Does your wife know? However, that question was carefully skirted on his behalf. This whole experience with his nonchalance towards his infidelity made me wonder about the varying value we place on marriage. For me marriage was such a huge step that it took me years to make that move. I believe that infidelity is wrong and that you should place the needs of your “house” above your own. However, it’s clear that we are all not the same and neither are our views upon the institution. Many of us draw the “rules” of marriage from varying sources, which ultimately govern our behaviour, but since we are all not playing by the same rules, I’m curious to know – Which ones do you follow and what are their source (Religious Texts, personal philosophy)?